I didn’t bring anything with me for lunch today. Mostly on purpose. And this morning I realized that I have a horrible cold, and I’m completely stuffed up. So, I decide upon the easy method of clearing out my sinuses. I’ll eat something really spicy. I decide on the hottest thing within a few minute drive from work, KFC’s new Fire Grilled Wings. They’re called Fire Grilled because they are really hot, not because they are grilled over a flame. The closest flame these wings ever saw was the incredibly gay guy who took my order. The wings worked and I can actually breathe now, but I was met with horrible news.
I also got some potato wedges and chicken strips because I knew 5 wings wouldn’t satisfy me. I asked for some Sweet and Sour sauce to dip my strips in, and found out that KFC is no longer offering Sweet and Sour Sauce. Seriously? Now, I’ve had issues with KFC before, specifically about Sweet and Sour Sauce. A few years ago, KFC had the best Sweet and Sour Sauce. It was in a little tub with an orange peel off lid. It was spicy, and delicious. It was the king of Sweet and Sour Sauces. I could have drank that Sweet and Sour Sauce. But like anything I like, it goes away forever. They changed the recipe from a golden brownish opaque sauce with lots of spicy flecks to a pink clear goo with little bits of green and red peppers in it. The same generic Sweet and Sour Sauce that Burger King has. Crappy lame useless sugary sauce. And now, even that is gone. No more Sweet and Sour Sauce.
What kind of evil corporate cost cutting measures are they doing to deprive their customers of first good Sweet and Sour Sauce, and then barely passable Sweet and Sour Sauce? I miss KFC’s old Sweet and Sour Sauce. I grew up dipping my chicken into that nectar of the gods. I never let a drop go to waste. I would lick every drop from that little plastic tub. Now I’ll never taste that deliciousness ever again.
So, what am I to do? I could try making my own, but wouldn’t have any idea where to even start. KFC won’t give up their secrets. I’m completely out of luck. Damn you KFC. How could you make the dipping sauce equivalent of heroin and then yank it away from me.
